I’m hearing more frequently about violence and disrespect in “romantic” encounters between teen guys and gals. I’m also seeing an increase in young women identifying as gender non-conforming.
In a recent conversation with a colleague about the correlation between these two, she postulated that a non-gendered expression may be the way that some teens girls are able to avoid the stereotypical gender expectations, and unwanted attention from boys who are objectifying them at an extremely vulnerable time when their bodies are changing.
This made sense to me. With pornography being a click away on a teen boy’s phone, young men are being schooled in the misconception that girls like it rough, and that it’s perfectly acceptable to aggressively demand certain sexual acts, or photos, or to rate their body parts.
How horrifying this must be to young women. When puberty begins, your body changes in ways that attract attention you may not as yet be emotionally ready to handle. Wouldn’t binding your breasts, hiding under gender-neutral clothing, and claiming androgyny be a good way to protect oneself?
I’m just thinking out loud here. Clearly, there are kids as young as 2nd grade who are also questioning their gender expression. But I am really inviting us to think about what pornography is teaching young men about how to treat young women. I know that it is not teaching them to see and treat young women as the precious individuals that they are.
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