When a child becomes a teen the parent’s role changes.
In adolescence, parents need to make a transition from providing for all their child’s needs to one who coaches their teen to handle their frustrations and needs for themselves. Parents also need to be able to respond to their teen in ways that affirm the dignity and power of both parent and child.
Conscious parenting is fair, flexible, and has learning, rather than submission as its goal. Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. Some parents use authoritarian parenting strategies that do not allow the child an independent voice. Other parents overcompensate with overly permissive parenting that doesn’t teach kids about limits.
Parents are expected to provide their children with a roof over their head, food to eat, clothes to wear, medical treatment, and protection from harm. However, cell phones, computers, spending money, stylish clothes, extracurricular activities and driving or being driven to their friend’s homes are all privileges that a child may earn through respectful and cooperative behavior toward their parents.
Respectful parenting involves seeing the frustrations teens encounter when pushing against boundaries you set as opportunities for them to practice self-control, self-respect, and respect for others. Your responsibility as a parent is to teach your teen the skills they will need to succeed in the world — prior to leaving your home. Support is just a phone call away.
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Taking the Trouble out of the Teen Years
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